Joe's Custom Tattoos
by freakinscarykid
Summary: Zoro, Johnny and Yosaku visit a Tattoo Parlour after a drunken night out.


I don't own One Piece. Duh.

* * *

He quickly turned around and beamed at them, "look at all this cash!" If Johnny didn't have his glasses on 24/7 Zoro would have seen his eyes sparkle. Zoro had seen him excited before, but this time he was absolutely ecstatic. Though Yosaku wasn't acting anymore dignified.

Yosaku was bouncing up and down like an overgrown infant and giggling like a little girl that just got a new dolly. It shamed Zoro deeply to be seen in public with them. "I've never had this much in my entire life!" Yosaku flipped this thumb through the bills, bringing it to his ears to hear the flap of money. His smile grew wider and into something sinister as he bounced some more.

Zoro just shrugged, trying his hardest not to let his irritation get out of hand and beat them to pulp. He simply placed the money in his haramaki and kept walking, not really bothering to count the amount. It _felt_ like a decent amount when he held it in his hands so he figured it would last him a while, depending on how he spent it. And he usually didn't spend all that much anyways. He only bought clothes when it was too bloody and ripped up to hold itself together and he spent more money on booze than food anyhow.

Yosaku was smiling so much his cheekbones were rising high up on his face making slits out of his eyes. Johnny briefly wondered if he could even see straight. But that thought was quickly pushed out of his mind when he exclaimed, "this calls for a celebration guys!" Johnny extended his arms and sneaked them around Zoro and Yosaku's shoulders and pulled them in closer so they formed a huddle. He didn't stop until their faces were pressed together, feeling someone's cheek on their own and way too close for comfort; but hell, they were brothers. And tonight they were going to celebrate. "So what's the plan?"

Yosaku smiled as many ideas went through his head on how exactly the night should go down. He figured he should share his brilliant ideas. "We should get an awesome dinner somewhere. It's been ages since we had something decent to eat. Afterwards we'll hit the town and look for some girls-"

Johnny had stopped paying attention to him after the word 'dinner' was spoken and had looked at Zoro; completely dismissing his best friend, "I heard they just opened that new bar, 'Drunken Fish' or whatever it's called. We couldn't go to the bar before because the tab would have killed us before we even got buzzed." By now Johnny had broken into a huge childish grin that was barely contained, "but now that we have cash we can drink ourselves into oblivion!"

Zoro let out a smirk to match Johnny's, liking the idea of drinking way more than picking up girls and getting a nice dinner. He wasn't really hungry anyways. True, they hadn't eaten something that would have passed regular human standards but to him drinking was always top priority. He was in such a good mood he didn't even mention to Johnny that even though he drank more than Yosaku he was still a lightweight. "Why not?"

Yosaku frowned, "you guys never listen to me!" With that he broke away from the huddle and walked away looking butt-hurt like he always did when no one listened to him. Johnny straightened his back and to Zoro's great relief unglued himself from his side and ran after Yosaku.

When Johnny caught up with Yosaku he slung his arm over his shoulder once more. He didn't press their cheeks together this time but did get his face close to Yosaku's. As if he wouldn't be able to hear what he had to say if he were any further away. "Oh come on, this is Aniki we're talking about! He deserves a good drink or two right? After a rough night of hunting down pirates he can go for a relaxing night," Johnny turned to smile winningly at Zoro. "Am I right Aniki?" he ended with question with a wink.

Zoro in turn smiled at Yosaku. "Yeah come on. Do this for your Aniki." He really hated using the whole brother thing as an excuse to get what he wanted, but he really wasn't in the mood to walk through town and have Yosaku point at every girl he found attractive and drag Johnny and him in as wingmen to flirt with them.

It's not like they were very popular with women anyways, if Zoro was honest. Not that he minded in the least; romance was never his calling. Being in the company of woman wasn't that much of a hassle for him either but after a few hours of countless rejections because Johnny and Yosaku couldn't quite master the art of just shutting the fuck up he felt like he would rather sell his organs to the black-market than listen to Yosaku's bawling over the failed night; calling Johnny and him a bunch of cock blocks. As if it was truly their fault he couldn't get laid. Not that he ever voiced his opinion on the matter. It would have broken Yosaku.

Not that he would have to put up with their shenanigans much longer. He was planning on heading his own path. He did enjoy Yosaku's and Johnny's company, they could dick around about almost anything and watched each other's back like blood brothers would but he also felt a need to be alone in order to achieve his dreams. And while he was with them he didn't think they would push him harder towards that goal. It wasn't his style to hang around a bunch of idiots for longer than he needed to anyways. Maybe he would tag along with people for a while, but only for a little while. He just hoped he never ran into a delusional, blond, chronic skirt chaser with hairy legs ever again. He nearly shivered at the thought. Yosaku was enough thank you very much.

Yosaku grumbled; knowing Johnny was just going to win that argument anyways. And he knew when Zoro had it in his heart to drink there was no force on earth strong enough to stop him. "Fine whatever." And like that he surrendered.

Johnny clasped his hands together over the victory and began dragging Yosaku with him towards the direction of the bar. Zoro followed suit because otherwise he would end up in the neighbouring country. Though he would never admit it, it happened before.

Yosaku snorted and under his breath, barely able to contain his mirth, "a drink or two," he shook his head at his friend's choice of words, "ha!"

* * *

Numb.

When Zoro woke up he didn't feel like opening his eyes. His left side of his face felt numb (well, number than the rest of his body) and it took him a few moments to realize that he was lying face down on the floor. He groaned into the cheap carpet and pushed himself up slowly as not to give himself a massive headache. With some effort he got into sitting position. He busied himself with rubbing at his forehead, feeling numb all over and genuinely confused as to what happened to him to feel so shitty. He remembered that he had gone out to drink with his buddies.

Him, Johnny and Yosaku had gone aboard a pirate ship and taken out the whole crew. Zoro had dragged most of them while the rest of them where thrown over his shoulder and carried back to the Marine base to get the respective pay. The bounty wasn't so much individually but the whole crew was more than enough for the three bounty hunters. He remembered walking to the bar, and not much after that.

He sighed into his hand. Was he hung over? If he was, this was the first time ever in his long history of drinking that he had woken up this way. Though he was certain it would come back to him when he was fully awake. It had to be the morning, he could never function that well when he barely arose from slumber. The memories would come back like they usually did. He wasn't so much of a lightweight to black out completely like that. That would just be sad quite frankly. He prided himself on being able to hold his liquor. He didn't remember his old man much but one thing he did remember was his father telling him real men drank. And drank he did.

He looked around and saw that he was in a room he didn't recognize. So they had crashed at a hotel room. He looked to right and saw Johnny sleeping on his side, the visible side of his face revealed that he was drooling on the carpet. Zoro chuckled a little. He looked around the room and was worried when he didn't see Yosaku. He turned his body completely around and saw Yosaku sleeping in a far corner curled up in a ball and snoring so loudly he wondered how he hadn't woken up earlier.

He looked to his left and saw two beds, the sheets untouched. He rolled his eyes. He could have been sleeping on a nice fluffy mattress but he just had to torture himself with the hard floor. They probably looked like a bunch of drunks, sprawled here and there in various corners of the room drooling and snoring away the morning hours. But from the light coming in from the window he figured they were sleeping away the afternoon. Other people considered them drunks; he knew. But he still thought they were ok. As long as they didn't wake up in a gutter stark naked he figured they weren't too bad.

He was a little upset thinking that he couldn't even manage to make it to bed. But hell, what's done is done he thought. At least him and Johnny were close to it, only a foot away from it actually. Yosaku barely made it through the door. He chuckled at how close he was to it. His body was curled against the doorframe.

Zoro yawned and closed his eyes, stretching his arms over his head then lowered them then titled his head side to side, cracking his neck. He stretched his limbs without bothering to get up, there was time to train later. His body felt tired. He smiled to himself, finally remembering some occurrences of last night. He had carried Yosaku here last night.

Now that he thought about it, he didn't even remember how he got home. He remembered walking down the street carrying Yosaku and laughing loudly with Johnny as they made their way through town but he knew Johnny was drunk out of his mind to have given him directions. Zoro gritted his teeth at the thought of him being better with directions when intoxicated.

After their customary rounds of drinking that took place at the Drunken Fish and paying the bartender the bill and biding him a long and almost tearful goodbye Zoro had walked down the street with a buzzed Johnny and a severely drunk Yosaku. Yosaku was swaying back and forth as he walked and occasionally grabbed either his or Johnny's arm for walking support.

He also remembered Johnny complaining in a whiney voice, "come on! The night's still young!" He bounced up and down as he made his way down the street. He was still ecstatic from the earnings and all the drinking only added to his good mood.

Zoro stopped walking and stared at him, "I agree but we can't really do much with this guy."

He titled his head towards Yoskau, who was clinging to his side, one arm flung over Zoro's shoulder as Zoro gripped his wrist to keep his arm in place. Zoro had his other hand on Yosaku's waist to keep him steady. Yoskau put his free hand to Zoro's chest and pushed himself away as he stepped back from Zoro, "I'm fine asshole," he mumbled as he walked backwards trying to win some distance between himself and his aniki. Zoro rolled his eyes and let Yosaku fumble over his own feet as he walked to some unknown destination.

Johnny smiled, "kay!" And like that Zoro's theory that Johnny had ADD was proven correct. "Let's do something then! Any ideas?" When it came to having fun Johnny was all for it.

Zoro was still pretty sober; he had only drunk 10 beers and had 7 spirits. "Well I'm not drunk yet, so I could go for round two."

Johnny laughed; when he calmed down a bit he exclaimed, "with that guy!" He pointed to Yosaku who was currently hugging a lamppost like it was his lover that he hadn't seen in oh so long. He was even whispering sweet nothings to the inanimate object.

"I'm not drunk guys!" Apparently he still had it in him to lie.

Zoro shrugged, "he said it himself, he's not drunk."

Johnny threw Zoro a grin, "Devil's Advocate?"

He remembered walking towards the second bar and drinking everything and anything Johnny and some of the bar's patron's threw at him while Yoskau sipped on a beer with the speed of an old man running a marathon and held the cold bottle to his head, groaning at the contact.

They had walked out and Yosaku was stumbling more than usual. Johnny was still bouncing up and down and was now really drunk. He even said so himself, he didn't feel a great need to deny it like Yosaku.

Even though Zoro hid it well he didn't feel sober either. 'Maybe this is what being drunk feels like?' he thought. He had never been drunk before so this funny and bubbly feeling was new to him. So some reason he had the strongest urge to just smile and laugh at everything Johnny said. Even when in the back of his mind he didn't find him _that_ funny. And he couldn't walk all that straight either.

"The night is still young guys! We can't go home now!"

Zoro let out a mean burp as a response and Johnny turned to give him a stare, mostly shock and a little bit of amusement on his face. Then he smiled at him and they both broke into uncontrollable laughter. The locals who were trying to get a good night's rest had stuck their head out their windows to yell at the drunk dumb asses who thought they could get away with acting like a bunch of jackasses on their beloved street. They even threatened to leave the sanctity of their humble homes to kick their asses to kingdom come.

"Wanna mark each other?"

Both Zoro and Johnny snapped their head in Yosaku's direction, it was probably the only thing he said all night besides, "I'm not drunk."

"Mark?" Johnny asked pushing his sunglasses a little further up his nose. Zoro wondered to himself how he could wear them even in the night. He was like a fucking bat or something with those things on. But if Johnny ever took off the damned things he probably wouldn't recognize him. Walk right past him in town even.

If someone were to ask, he wouldn't know the man's eye colour. And he had known him for two whole years.

"Yeah Yoskau, what the hell?" Zoro raised an eyebrow at him. 'Mark each other? What the fuck did that mean?'

Yosaku kept smiling and pointed in their direction, "let's go there."

Zoro and Johnny turned around and saw the humble establishment with the huge neon sign that read, 'Joe's Custom Tattoos.' Below it listed their services, tattoos as well as piercing. Clearly this Joe was of a noble trade.

Zoro put a hand to his face and groaned as he remembered that they had actually walked in, not really in their right mind. If only he had been sober he never would have gone in. He yawned and realized he was a bit thirsty. When Yosaku and Johnny woke up they would get something to eat and drink. Carbs and water helped with hangovers. At least that's what he heard. This was the first time he ever experienced this sort of terrible thing.

Inside the tattoo parlour Johnny turned to Yosaku and asked, "so what's the plan?"

Yosaku swayed side-to-side and smiled at them both. "Ok, we'll decide for each other what we should get, we can pick either a tattoo or a piercing and the other _has _to get it. Ok?" He asked, leaning in closer to them, the smell of alcohol heavy in his breath. "No backing out," he smirked.

Zoro and Johnny nodded. It would be a cold day in hell if they were ever called pussies. Zoro spoke up first, "alright, who chooses for who?"

In the back of his right mind he knew it was stupid. He never played any games like this. It was a waste of his time. But know with his happy feeling inside of him it felt like the best idea in the world. And nothing wrong could ever happen to him. Nope. Never. He smiled inside and out.

"Johnny picks for Zoro, Zoro picks for me, and I'll pick for Johnny."

They all smiled and each other, in their own minds trying to outdo each other in what horribly embarrassing thing they should pick for each other. With the twisted smiles on that were their faces it would have scared away any sane person.

Zoro blinked his eyes at the memory. Yeah, that was one of the last things he remembered. After sitting on the floor for several minutes and coming up with nothing he turned to Johnny and shook his shoulder, "oi, wake up."

Johnny shifted a little still refusing to open his eyes and mumbled, "5 more minutes mom."

Zoro shoved him harder, "up!"

Johnny yawned and got up slowly, then turned around to face Zoro. Zoro stared at him for about 3 seconds before giving into maniacal fits of laugher. He let his back hit the floor with a thud as he threw himself backwards and held onto this stomach as he laughed at the sight. Johnny, still hung-over, held his hands to his temple and mumbled, "not so loud asshole. My head hurts."

Zoro ignored him and kept laughing that full belly laugh of his. Something that was rare to hear but Johnny and Yosaku had hung around him long enough to know when the man laughed he put his whole body into it. Johnny used to like that about him but at the moment he wanted nothing more than to shove his boot down his throat to shut him up.

Yosaku groaned in his corner signalling he had been woken up. He uncurled his body from fetal position and sat up. "What's with the noise?"" he yelled more than asked.

Zoro pointed a finger at Johnny, and between bits of laughter managed to breath out, "look at his face!"

Yosaku looked at Zoro like he had finally lost his marbles. It wouldn't be that surprising, seeing the way the man treasured his life. "What?" Then he realized he was laughing and pointing at Johnny. He followed his finger towards Johnny and looked him up and down until he took notice of his face. It took him less time than Zoro to burst into laughter as well.

Johnny was now growling and quickly moving from the mad stage to blinding rage that usually led to engage in homicidal activities. "What the hell guys?" he snarled.

Zoro recovered first and smiled a horribly demonic grin at Johnny, "nice tattoo man."

"Tattoo? What are you talking about asshole? I don't have a tattoo."

Yosaku smiled, "last night, remember?"

"Last night? What the fuck are you…oh." He began harshly but ended with a mumble. His face went blank as he remembered, the rage escaping his features and he let the memories come back to him. He let out a sigh, "shit, what tattoo did I get?"

Yosaku smiled, "some writing on your cheek man." He touched his forehead with his fingers, barely registering that he had a headache. "It's in Japanese if your wondering, it says sea."

Johnny touched the cheek that felt more swore than the other. "Shit."

Zoro let out a snort of amusement before turning to face Yosaku and flash him a smile, "nice."

Yosaku grinned back, admiring his handy work, "thanks." He leaned back and balanced all his weight on the hands behind his back. He ever so causally swung on leg over the other and just beamed with delight as he took in another look at Johnny.

Zoro was still chuckling when he heard Johnny say, "I wouldn't be laughing so hard there buddy." He jerked his head only to see Johnny smiling at him. The most malicious look he had ever seen Johnny wear. Known him for two years and didn't figure out before hand he had befriended the devil's son.

Zoro's face straightened and he went rigid. Shit. The moment of truth. Now he found out what the hell happened to him. He sighed into the hand that was roughly rubbing his face; and knowing that it couldn't be anything wonderful he asked, "alright Johnny, what did you pick for me?" He looked up to stare Johnny in the eyes. Or sunglasses. Might as well take it like a man.

Johnny didn't answer but turned to Yosaku instead. He was still smiling in that obnoxious way and asked Yosaku in a terribly false sweet voice, "it suits him well, doesn't it? Takes some attention away from his ugly mug too."

Zoro narrowed his eyes at that comment. If he killed them now he would claim it was in self-defense.

Yosaku was nodding, a sly grin on his face. He put a hand to his chin and nodded, looking at Zoro, "yeah. You know, I think it makes him look human. Before, with that fuck off face of his he looked so demonic." His shoulders were shaking from trying to hold in laughter, Zoro knew. "With this he looks kinda approachable, human, I dunno, maybe even," he broke into a full grin, "pretty." Zoro knew it; it was laughter he was holding in. Not anymore. His annoying laughter filled the room along with Johnny's.

"What the hell happened?" He demanded, bearing his teeth.

They both broke into more unrestricted, wild, maniacal laughter. Zoro now wished he hadn't made so much fun of Johnny. Maybe he would have spared him some mercy at this point. He turned away and tried his damnest to drown out their hyena laughter. And to repress the desire to kill them. After all, the hotel manager might charge him to remove the blood from the carpet.

He was trying to focus on something else when the memory a drunk Johnny walking through the make shift curtain with his new tattoo on his cheek came into mind. He had stumbled out looking so happy over going through with the bet. He grinned at Zoro in appendance. The tattoo artist who they discovered was named Joe was all too familiar with the bet looked over at Johnny and asked, "what's he getting?"

Johnny didn't take his eyes away from Zoro as he smirked. He then declared, "get his left ear pierced."

Zoro had shrugged, he remembered. He remembered thinking that wasn't so bad. It could have been worst.

Zoro's eyes widened at that. He touched his ear and yes, it was pierced. But that wasn't so shocking as was how many.

The clear memory of Johnny bending over the glass case and picking a long golden stranded earring flashed in his mind at that moment. Joe had picked one up when Johnny shook his head like a dog would after getting a bath and said, "no."

Joe stopped and raised an eyebrow, "want a different one?"

Johnny shook his head, "no, I meant, give him three."

Zoro shook his head after remembering that and glared at Johnny. He truly was the spawn of evil. "Three fucking earrings? As if one wasn't enough!" he was full on yelling now, the walls shaking from his anger. Justified anger mind you. Then something else hit him and he couldn't keep his voice down. "And look what side you picked!" he shouted angrily as he pointed to his ear.

Yosaku wiped a tear away from his face, "oh Zoro I didn't know you swung that way," he said as he flung his hand at him in a feminine manner and smiled at him while he made his voice obscenely high pitched. He bit his lips to hold back laughter, which Johnny was failing miserably at. He opened his mouth and continued, "but you know what, we'll accept you no matter what." He even had the audacity to bat his eyelashes at Zoro.

Yosaku ducked his head to avoid being hit by Zoro's boot as he flung it at him. Johnny was rolling on the floor laughing not bothering to wipe away the flood of tears escaping his eyes. Zoro was trying to figure out if he should be a better man and write to their families to inform them that they had died a horribly painful death.

Yoskau chuckled regaining his composure and got up on wobbly legs, "alright, as fun as this is," he twisted his torso as he stretched, not stopping until he heard his back crack and looked down at his friends, "I'm gonna take a shower." He lifted his arm over his head and turned his head to take a whiff of his armpit, wrinkling his nose as his face was twisted in disgust, "I smell like hell." He scratched the back of his head as he made his way over to the bathroom.

Johnny stopped laughing and looked at Zoro. They stared at each other taking in each other's appearance before laughing at each other again. They wiped their tears away figuring what had happened to them wasn't so bad. When they stopped they both stared at the bathroom door.

Johnny frowned, "so what did you pick for Yosaku?" He crossed his arms over his chest, contemplating over the night's events and how Yosaku hadn't complained about something yet. "He doesn't have facial piercing or tattoos for that matter." He mumbled, mainly to himself, "nothing visible," he noted, his voice still low. He shook his head; he had figured Zoro would pick the worst out of the three of them. Deep down he was a good man, but damn he could be an asshole when he wanted to.

He turned to face Zoro who was absorbed in his own world as he smiled wolfishly at the door, not answering Johnny's question. "Oh God, you got him good huh?" he asked breaking into a wicked smile. He scooted over closer to Zoro, "what did you do?"

Then his attention was averted to the door when he heard a shrill scream emitting from the door.

Zoro was dying. He looked like he would die from laughing so hard. He was roaring with laughter and tears were falling from his eyes, which was a first. Johnny wanted to join in but he had no idea what he should be laughing at. He would have asked when he heard Yosaku scream, "dear Lord! _Why are my nipples are pierced_?"

Johnny broke into laughter right along with Zoro; the both of them kicking their feet in the air and running out of breath. They had to stop because their stomachs hurt so bad, Johnny could feel a six-pack coming on. But then Zoro sat up abruptly and raised a hand to silence Johnny. He continued to smirk however, "wait for it," he whispered around his lifted lips.

Johnny quieted down just in time to hear Yosaku's confused voice ask no one in particular, "where does this chain lead to…?" Silence continued before another horror filled scream was heard.

Zoro joined Johnny on the floor as they continued to roll as they laughed and tears were freely falling from their eyes.

"**ZORO YOU ASSHOLE!"**

* * *

Thanks to the reviewers who told me what Johnny's tattoo said. Took me forever but I finally changed it.


End file.
